Rotten Relationship
A Rotten Relationship could exist in a marriage or even in a live-in relationship.
The question is… Are you the victim or the victimizer? WHOOOO is the victim?
I’ve talked with many women in the same situation and every story is the same. Same game, different players!
- Are you in a marriage or relationship that sucks?
- Are you living in misery?
- Is he going one way and you another?
- Is he leaving early and coming back late?
- Starting arguments to get out of the house?
- Are you always somehow, the blame?
Yet, you continue to give excuses for not doing anything about it. Leaving the relationship is not always the only remedy,sometimes you have to leave YOU! Some women give excuses for remaining in their rotten relationships.
- The kids need both parents (Not just married women but also single women that are living with their children’s father)
- Telling yourself that you can’t make it financial or emotionally on your own and many more excuses.
Whatever the reason, it is a bad state to find yourself in. You say,”if I was only single, I could do better”, but you are still there. Others, say, if I left him for a while, maybe he will get better.” Well, you know what they always say, “absence make the heart grow fonder but to much absence make the heart wander.” In real life, he will get more comfortable and when the cats away the mouse will surely play.
There are many reasons and they all seem valid. Unfortunately, some of you are just going through the routine hoping some miracle will happen to change this bad situation not realizing that the change must begin with You. If he wants to live a completely distant life by going and coming as he pleases with no explanations is not good. Yet, you still continue to stay in the same predicament. Let’s address it in a way, in which you can tolerate. Even better, let’s not tolerate it at all, let God fix it for you. Get involved in the word of God first, then begin to do things you enjoy by accomplishing goals you have always wanted to achieve. Bottom line, stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. One or two things is going to happen. He is going to finally leave you or you are going to leave him but at least don’t make yourself look crazy. If your relationship is about to break up and you know there are other participants in the equation (another woman) then the inevitable is coming.
You are experiencing rudeness, impatience, man missing in action, no communication, it is about to end. You can only turn situations like this over to God. Speaking to your friends will not fix anything. Face it and start working on you. While he is thinking he is getting over on you, you are really working on your self-esteem. By getting yourself together, not sitting home wondering and thinking about what he is doing, you are going about God business. Allow the Word to heal your mind and heart so your whole being is not based on a MAN. Let’s face it, if you don’t get a different mindset, even if you go out and get a different man, you will continue to experience many tears and frustrations. Stop Now and make that change! Some of you are not married and the life you are living is called fornication and not a part of God’s plan for you. Worst, ifyou let him continue using you in that manner it will get worst! What he first enjoyed (sex) will soon become old and tiring to him. Keep your goods, even in today’s time. It’s still called leverage, regardless of the new standard (try it before you buy it) relationships.
One more thing Ladies, it’s alright to sweat, just don’t let them EVER see you sweat. Some of the women today are just giving a little too much information to their enemies and they are using it against them. STOP and Quote, Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Stop allowing him to see your tears, fears, weakness and neediness for him. Get your act together!
Have you been to church lately? Most friends encourage their married friends to get another man or go out to the clubs to get their mind off of their situations. Well, I beg to differ! That is a temporary jealous tactic, that only last a moment and sometimes they could care less what you do. The best way and only way to overcome this hurtful phase in your life is to give it to the LORD JESUS. He said, “If you keep your mind on me, I’ll keep you in perfect Peace” Start your life over again with Jesus by the renewing of your mind and you will see change. The Lord will begin to order your steps, direct your path and put you back on the right track. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.God’s will is for you to have a happy life and the gift of Eternal life.
Let’s start a new day right now and allow God to wipe away your tears and give you a brand new start. He is the only one that can get your mind off of that undeserving partner. Being delivered from a soul tie is not quick fix, it is a process of patience and waiting on God. You have to ask yourself, how much do I love me. The question is how much do you loveJesus? The one that loved You so much that he died on the cross for your sins. The Word of God says, John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Make that change today! God will help you but it’s up to you!
I can definitely relate to Rotten Relationships. I have learned that you do not need a person to make yourself whole or a family I always thought i needed a man to complete me because I grew up with my mom and dad in the same home so I put up with a lot of discomfort in relationships and made alot of sacrifices for a person who would not have done the same for me. I do not regret the relationships because they made me the person i am now and i am a true believer that god would not put anything in my path that is not suppose to be there so i have learned to help others like my fellow sisters recognize the signs of a Rooten relationship
I agree that you don’t need anyone but god to make you whole. Without god in you life I feel you are vulnerable to almost any and everything.
As for rotten relationships, I have also been there a time or two. There are many signs given and if we recognize them early in the relationship we can save are self a lot of time,energy, pain and hurt break.
And like you stated god only put people in your path for curtain reasons and season, for either lessons or blessings.
So if we trust in the lord and wait on him. He will bring the right spouse for you into your life not only for a season but for a lifetime.
Thanks for commenting Demi, I totally agree with what you stated about having to have a person in your life to make one feel WHOLE. I’m a firm believer in that everyone’s journey is their own and every person that has been placed within ones journey will build or bring character.
Rotten Relationships. They are real and all around us and most of the woman close to us are in them and we dont even know about it. I was in one for many years i was great at hiding the bruises that i had physicaly and mentally, and after a while i felt like everything that ever went wrong was my fault.I am here to say you have to have faith and you have to speak out. Once you speak out your loved ones can help with choosing the best path to take.And always remember God will not give you more then you can handle
LNICOLEJ,
Thank for commenting,I am a domestic violence survivor myself, I agree that it is extremely important to share with a friend or family member if you are going through any type of abuse!!! Leaning on the Lord for strength is the only way!!
~~God bless
Everything that was ,said was 100% true and i agree i have seen a lot of these types of relationships , sometimes we could have the best husband that dose everything thing such as cook clean , take care of the kids and just do a lot of the things that we are supposed to do as woman but , they can be just flat out mean , rude , and disrespectful , it dosen’t always have to be physically it could just be the nasty things that they say . In a lot of these relationships i’ve yet to see a positive outcome such as marriage therapy or anything . I always see divorce papers being handed out , or custody battle’s going on involving who will get the children ., These types of things effect the children in a lot of way’s to , they tend to act out in school being disrespectful at home and at school grades began to drop everything that you never wanted for your child is starting to happen all because of whats gong on at home , so its sad and i wish there was a way to stop these things
Thank you for your comment Anonymous Ms. Williams,
I agree with you in regard to the damage that the children go through during the process. That’s why its great to have a platform such as this to have a sounding board to help with the process or the action plan when one decides to exit the toxic situation. I think that if one prays and become proactive on life, a plan forms that has structure and is less tramatic on the little ones.