Well ladies, I know this is one subject that you all want to know more about.  It’s a fact that most women want to be in control.  Why?  We think it saves us from much heartache (will explain more later).  We feel if we can control our husbands, they will take us more serious.  Unfortunately, that is just the opposite!  Yes, we do have some men shoveness but the majority of men want to live a peaceful and content life just like you.  They usually are willing to BE NICE, if you are nice.  However, when we get to throwing our demands around and telling them what to do, they become less kind, cooperative and we actually are responsible for turning them into the monsters that we say they are but we created them.  If your man is going on the defense every time you say something, there is a problem.  The issue is, did you create it or is it coming from him.  Guess what?  If he is doing wrong, he can easily turn it around and blame you for the reason why he doesn’t come home at night or stays out late with the boys but is it him or is it you?   You will never know if you have been a monster wife.   The worse thing women can do is complain about every little thing or repeat themselves over and over.  THE MEN HEAR YOU, but eventually they will tune you out and you will get no where ever again.  Lets start this marriage off right.  What makes your husband happy?  Write them down and pray over them.  Then ask God to tell you how to implement them into your marriage.  Some men love their wives being with them every second of the day and others might feel smothered.  You cannot build your marriage on the JONES’, yours is as unique as theirs.  God wants to make your Marriage Marvelous and that can only happen by following His guidelines.  Let’s start with a few questions.

  • Do you like your husband or do you love him?
  • Do you feel he Loves You?
  • Is he kind to you or mean? (Abusive, A Cheater, Evasive, Disrespectful, etc)
  • Does he enjoy spending time with you or finding other things to do with his time?
  • Do you communicate or is there more silence in the room then talking?
  • Do you go to church together or is he a non church goer?
  • Is God discussed in the house ever?
  • Are their opportunities to pray together?
  • Are your children effected by the home’s environment (good or bad)?

There are many  variables that effect a home and none are the same.  I can only say that the change must begin with YOU!  If you want to even attempt to see if you can create a better marriage relationship with your spouse you must make the first steps to improvement, which prompts me to more questions.

  • Do you keep a clean home?  Is it surface clean or is it clean and orderly.
  • Do you keep yourself up?  Are you hygienically clean, teeth brushed, use mouthwash, etc., and smell sweet to your husband.
  • Do you keep your appearance desirable? Hair, clothes, skin, etc.
  • Do you greet him and make him feel welcomed home?
  • Do you resent picking up behind him?
  • Do you talk down to him and start small arguments?
  • Do you criticize him?
  • Do you try to find reasons to praise him? Thank him?
  • Do you complain about money issues?
  • Do you address money matters at the wrong time or find the most appropriate times?

Regardless of what your answers are, I want to remind you that you are in competition with a world of women that would love your man.  You think just because you both said, I DO allows you to step down your game, it doesn’t.  You need to check yourself and your attitude.  Make sure you are doing no less for your husband then you did when you first met him.  WHY?  Because, there is always another woman  that wants your property and will wait for you to make one false move so she can snatch him right from under you.  Don’t be surprise if it’s even someone you know or very close to you.   LADIES remember, you got him by being nice so why are you so irritated with him now?  Think you own him?  SORRY, not that easy!   Don’t be naive!  If you are one of those inconsiderate wives, you just might lose.  We have to act like we are always trying to catch for the first time, all the time!   Don’t continue to be stubborn, ugly and disrespectful.  I have seen marriages last 50 years but then another Woman comes along that doesn’t regard marriages at all and he’s a GONNER!  🙁   If it’s any consolation, that relationship usually doesn’t last either but it doesn’t get your husband back.   ALL I CAN SAY LADIES, STEP UP YOUR GAME & MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE MARVELOUS!   BE NICE!

OOPS!  I just heard someone say, my husband is a total JERK!  There is nothing that I can ever do to make him happy!  Well, if you have one of them, you need to go to the topic “Rotten Relationship” and start reading.    Unfortunately, these type of men can’t love you because they can’t even love themselves.  Don’t despair,  it’s probably not your fault.  There is only one solution, I can offer!  Prayer changes people and circumstance.  Be patient and wait on the Lord,  Christ is the ANSWER!

Want to know more about Jesus?  Go to “HOW TO BE SAVED”                                                Click:  How To Be Saved

  1. Hi, It’s Debbie!
    I hope you have learned something from the blogs I have posted. They were all written with you in mind. So many women have suffered one hardships after the other, dealing with incredible experiences in their relationships.
    I hope you will consult the Lord Jesus on how to handle yours and find hope and guidance from what you have learned.
    God Bless You,
    Debbie Richards, Author

  2. married woman are not always happy. in many cases yes but in several cases people become miserable with there spouse after becoming married. its alot of good advice in this article . i cant wait til its my time to marry.

  3. well I have never been married before but i know that as a wife you always have to be humble and understanding to you spouse. Me personally i don’t cook everyday but I clean up all day everyday. now as far as my smart mouth and attitude i have to work on that.


  4. i love every word that was being said in this blog.. i am just taking it all in right now.

  5. although im not married i can relate to this article there’s somethings that i don’t do but as a mother or even as a woman i should be doing , i don’t cook everyday , but i know if i was married i will have to i stay on social medias a lot my husband may feel as if that’s childish or for little kids so there’s something i should and need to change

  6. When I was 15 Yrs. old, my mom passed so I was sent off to live with my Aunt and her husband. I never really had an insight on marriage because my mom was a single mother. I’m saying this to say, my aunt was so mean and rude to her husband. I asked her one day, why do you treat my uncle like that? She said because men are stupid and they need to be trained like a dog. They like that type of behavior. I was puzzled so later, I went to my uncle and asked him why do you let my aunt treat the way she does? He said, when you are truly in love with a woman, you will do anything to show her that you are not like the men in her past. She will soon see. To this day, they are still married and my aunt has changed her whole out look. She treats him a lot better now. I guess LOVE won over all.

  7. I actually had a friend who was planning to get married. To my surprise I was in Awe because I didn’t know the two were even dating. So in our conversations we had in all, I asked her did she love him, was she even in love? Her response was I will learn to love him as time passes, I just need help with my children and we need some security. I was lost. Debbie had some points above that she lacks and then some. So keeping this man was going to be a quick down fall fast.

  8. Marriage as a women this blog helps you keep your marriage together and I shouldn’t be told any other way because Ms. Debbie told it best.

  9. Your passage honestly spoke to me in many ways. My relationship with my husband is not the best and it need some work. We want to control one another and that is not just going to workout. We both love one another but trust and respect is hard when we both have been hurt. Reading this passage have made me notice that we both have to let go of our past in order to make it work. Our family and God is the key of over coming a struggle. The communication level is ok but working together to become as one is all in the faith of the man upstairs.
    Thank you Miss Debbie for your wonderful

  10. Although I am not married, I fear not being with my partner. He treats me like a queen and I am not the best towards him. I sometimes take him for grated and don’t appreciate the things he do. I treat him as if the fact that he can leave is not an option. I now realize that it is an option and I need to get myself together so I can love him the way he deserves to be loved. I’m on a path that I really don’t want to be on, and that is the path of losing him. By reading this I realize that by treating him the way I do, it’s not of God and I need to change. I need to let God work in and with me so I can better my relationship in so many way.

  11. Although I am not married, I relate to this article because I find myself not keeping my home up as much as I should. I sometimes have a bad attitude towards my partner and that’s not right. I’m not seeking God as much as I should be. I realize that I need to work on my relationship with God in order to make my relationship with my partner better.

  12. This is an awesome article. One of the best I’ve read on marriages. When most people write about marriages, they tell you what each person must do–but the whole problem is YOU CAN’T MAKE YOUR HUSBAND DO ANYTHING!!! Great advice and wise words. I will be back!

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