Rotten Relationship

Rotten Relationship

Rotten Relationship

A Rotten Relationship could exist in a marriage or even in a live-in relationship.
The question is… Are you the victim or the victimizer?  WHOOOO is the victim?
I’ve talked with many women in the same situation and every story is the same.  Same game, different players!
  • Are you in a marriage or relationship that sucks?
  • Are you living in misery?
  • Is he going one way and you another?
  • Is he leaving early and coming back late?
  • Starting arguments to get out of the house?
  • Are you always somehow, the blame?
Yet, you continue to give excuses for not doing anything about it.  Leaving the relationship is not always the only remedy,sometimes you have to leave YOU!  Some women give excuses for remaining in their rotten relationships.
  • The kids need both parents (Not just married women but also single women that are living with their children’s father)
  • Telling yourself that you can’t make it financial or emotionally on your own and many more excuses.
Whatever the reason, it is a bad state to find yourself in.  You say,”if I was only single, I could do better”, but you are still there.   Others, say, if I left him for a while, maybe he will get better.”   Well, you know what they always say, “absence make the heart grow fonder but to much absence make the heart wander.”  In real life, he will get more comfortable and when the cats away the mouse will surely play.
There are many reasons and they all seem valid.   Unfortunately, some of you are just going through the routine hoping some miracle will happen to change this bad situation not realizing that the change must begin with You.  If he wants to live a completely distant life by going and coming as he pleases with no explanations is not good.  Yet, you  still continue to stay in the same predicament.  Let’s address it in a way, in which you can tolerate.  Even better, let’s not tolerate it at all, let God fix it for you.  Get involved in the word of God first, then begin to do things you enjoy by accomplishing goals you have always wanted to achieve.  Bottom line, stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.  One or two things is going to happen.  He is going to finally leave you or you are going to leave him but at least don’t make yourself look crazy.  If your relationship is about to break up and you know there are other participants in the equation (another woman) then the inevitable is coming.
You are experiencing rudeness, impatience, man missing in action, no communication, it is about to end.  You can only turn situations like this over to God.  Speaking to your friends will not fix anything.  Face it and start working on you.  While he is thinking he is getting over on you, you are really working on your self-esteem.  By getting yourself together, not sitting home wondering and thinking about what he is doing, you are going about God business.  Allow the Word to heal your mind and heart so your whole being is not based on a MAN.  Let’s face it, if you don’t get a different mindset, even if you go out and get a different man, you will continue to experience many tears and frustrations.  Stop Now and make that change!  Some of you are not married and the life you are living is called fornication and not a part of God’s plan for you.  Worst, ifyou let him continue using you in that manner it will get worst!  What he first enjoyed (sex) will soon become old and tiring to him.  Keep your goods, even in today’s time.  It’s still called leverage, regardless of the new standard (try it before you buy it) relationships.
One more thing Ladies, it’s alright to sweat, just don’t let them EVER see you sweat.  Some of the women today are just giving a little too much information to their enemies and they are using it against them. STOP and Quote,  Philippians 4:13 I can do all thingthrough Christ which strengtheneth me.  Stop allowing him to see your tears, fears, weakness and neediness for him.  Get your act together!
Have you been to church lately?  Most friends encourage their married friends to get another man or go out to the clubs to get their mind off of their situations. Well, I beg to differ!  That is a temporary jealous tactic, that only last a moment and sometimes they could care less what you do.  The best way and only way to overcome this hurtful phase in your life is to give it to the LORD JESUS.  He said, “If you keep your mind on me, I’ll keep you in perfect Peace”   Start your life over again with Jesus by the renewing of your mind and you will see change.  The Lord will begin to order your steps, direct your path and put you back on the right track.  Proverbs 3:5  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.God’s will is for you to have a happy life and the gift of Eternal life.
Let’s start a new day right now and allow God to wipe away your tears and give you a brand new start.  He is the only one that can get your mind off of that undeserving partner.  Being delivered from a soul tie is not quick fix, it is a process of patience and waiting on God.  You have to ask yourself, how much do I love me. The question is how much do you loveJesus?  The one that loved You so much that he died on the cross for your sins. The Word of God says, John 10:10  The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.  Make that change today!  God will help you but it’s up to you!

Dealing with divorce

Dealing with divorce

A SINGLE WOMAN AFTER DIVORCE

It is real difficult to start all over after experiencing a life of marriage.  We may not realize it but the very moment that hammer comes down and the Judge says DIVORCED, it is something incomprehensible.  You know you are free but some parts of you feel it’s not over.  You remain in a state of limbo for a while and many times go through separation pains of depression.  However, if the divorce was not your doing or your fault  and you did everything you could to make it work, it is time to move forward in the strength of the Lord.  I say the strength of the Lord because many times we immediately start seeking another comforter unknowingly to take the place of the one you just lost resulting in a much worse predicament.   You now need time with God and Him alone to learn how to love YOU!  You were hand crafted by the Maker and He and He alone can only deliver you from the emptiness you are now experiencing and YOURSELF!

On the other hand, if you were the cause of the divorce and wasn’t what one would call the perfect wife, then you may continue to go in and out of future relationships.  If this is you, you need Jesus.  You will never be whole until you find peace with the Lord.  It is not the person you divorces, it is YOU.  You have most likely gotten rid of the best thing you ever had and the devil will not allow you to realize it until way down the road.  Most women that think it is all about them and have no regards for marriage usually end up old and very alone.  What they are not realizing, they are aging every day (time never stops) and still desiring to partake in the youthful things of life. Wake up!  You have past that stage and now you are looking CRAZY!  Some of your smart friends are still with their husband and you are out roaming from man to man trying to find happiness.  It will never happen until you find YOU and the only way that can happen is first finding JESUS!  He is the only that can bring total peace in the midst of a confused mind.

If you are single because of a failed marriage.  Don’t repeat the same foolish things that put you in this position.  Start your life over with JESUS!  Learn to love Him and let him order your footsteps from this point forward.  You will be surprised, when you least expect, God will bring someone in your life you never expected.  This time, you will be prepared to be the wife the Lord has called you to be.  My advise is to be patient and wait on the Lord.  Do not get in a hurry (be anxious for nothing) or you will mistakenly make the choice and not God.  Nine times out of ten, the one you choose will be the wrong one again and again and again and you will repeat your madness until you allow God to take control and order your steps.

Want to know more about Jesus?  Go to “HOW TO BE SAVED”                                                Click:  How To Be Saved

Being separated from your spouse

Being separated from your spouse

WOMEN DEALING WITH SEPARATION

We all know it is hard to deal with a difficult spouse and sometimes circumstances force you to separate yourself for many reasons.  It could be safety because of abusiveness (mentally and physically).  Cheating in the relationship has occurred and you just need time away to get your head together.  It could even be financial issues, where some women have enabled their spouses by being the bread winner and basically helping him to do nothing but depend on you.  Whatever you situation, God can get you through it.

This is a time of prayer and fasting.  You need at this time to have a clear head and the only one that can help you accomplish that is JESUS!  Most women grab their contact list and start scrolling down their list of friends in an effort to find someone to drop their burden.  The truth is, no one really wants to hear your problems because they probably have enough of their own.  Yet you still call and call until you reach someone that will listen to you ramble on and on about how Jimmy did you wrong.  Well, you just opened the door to your personal media.  Yes the media of your circle of friends.  You may not believe this but they all know what Jimmy has done to you and everyone of them are discussing it with each other.  WHY? Because you have told it!  Stop in your tracks right now and put down that phone.  Take your burden to the Lord Jesus and let Him work it out.  He will not spread it around town so when you do take old Jimmy back and you will, no one will be able to ridicule you about your decision.   If you are in the midst of separation.  Stay separated from the voices of others and allow God to be the only voice you hear. (He won’t tell it! OOPS IT SLIPPED! Lol)

Well, putting the humor aside this subject is serious and you still have to deal with a rotten husband that is breaking your heart.  You love this man and you just don’t know why you can’t shake this feeling.  WHAT DO YOU DO?   I can only tell you that SILENCE IS GOLDEN.  If you really love him, please for heaven sake don’t get your family involved!  Don’t leave and go back and forth like a revolving door, that never ever works.  Cut him off and let him deal with him, while you are dealing with you.  If you are talking with him every night and listening to him try and get you back, you have lost already.  Stop!  Cut yourself off and stay off that phone with him and others.  If he is serious about trying to do right, he will find you where ever you are.  Even at church.  Don’t start going out to dinner with him and listening to his lies all over again.  CUT HIM OFF until God says he has changed.  If you were bold enough to separate from him in the first place, then do what it takes to make the situation or you will walk back into a worst one.   If he truly loves you, he will win you back even if it is through God, your ministers or even showing up at church.  Does that mean you should come back home or let him back home just because he made a few efforts of coming to church?  Absolutely NOT!  I don’t think so!  God doesn’t work on a heart of a calculating mind over night, it takes time.  His original plan is to DECEIVE YOU and turn you away from anyone that is supporting your separation, even your church.  All I can say is be wise and let the Lord Jesus order your steps.  Believe it or not, if that man truly loves you, he will change.  However, if he is just there for the ride, he will move on to another sucker that is willing to let him set up housekeeping and will start all over with someone else.  Unfortunately, those are the stakes that you have to deal with.  THE CHANGE MUST BEGIN WITH YOU!

You can stay with the man and continue to pray for yourself and him because it is going to take all of that and some more to keep your sanity in the midst of your Hurricane but you can do with the help of God.  You must stay focused by praying and reading your Bible daily and please find a good church home and stay faithful.  However, if he chooses to leave or you leave, be firm and don’t let him go and come as he please (he is either in or out, his choice) or you will be a big joke.  You only have one chance to make a first impression, even with spouse.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.   If you want it to work, do what it takes to make it work even if it is tough love.   MOST IMPORTANT DURING THE PROCESS, STAY WITH JESUS, HE WILL WORK IT OUT IN HIS TIME SO BE PATIENT!  Don’t make your move to fast, many women have been fooled because of their overwhelming situations and simply ended their marriages with a little Divorce paper only to find out that their troubles had just begun and now feeling crazier then before.  Don’t let your sudden emotional state dictate your future.  Be patient and wait on the Lord.   He will help you through this bumpy time and direct your path.  If it is really over, let it be God that says it’s over and not you or it will not turn out good for you.   Pray, God is working on your in someone.  Allow him to finish His work.  He is the potter and you are the clay.  Allow him to make and mold you into the beautiful pottery that you are and can be!

Want to know more about Jesus?  Go to “HOW TO BE SAVED”                                                Click:  How To Be Saved

Hi, It’s  (YFD) Your Friend Debbie Again!  I viewed some of the post and realize that we as women have a lot of work to be done on GUESS WHO?  YOU!!!!! I know it is hard but if we will just get the focus of the other guy and figure out what’s wrong we would do ourselves a lot better.  Why to I say that?  As one of the others responders said.  You can change you but you can’t do one thing with someone else.  Let God be the FINISHER, Not You!  If you want to live with a level of  peace of mind, let Christ handle it and get your hands off of the matter.  You are only in the way of his surgery on the situation.  When a person finally realizes that you are not watching them like a hawk or obsessed with their every move, where a bouts, actions or life styles, the tables turn and you start to grow.   Christ is the only answer to all of our craziness (Married or Single).  Please tell others to visit my site.  All comments, topic and articles are inspired by GOD!  Tell others that want help to visit my site and may God bless you real good!  Jesus Loves You and so do I! YFD

 

Making your marriage marvelous!

Making your marriage marvelous!

MARRIED LIFE AS A WOMAN

Well ladies, I know this is one subject that you all want to know more about.  It’s a fact that most women want to be in control.  Why?  We think it saves us from much heartache (will explain more later).  We feel if we can control our husbands, they will take us more serious.  Unfortunately, that is just the opposite!  Yes, we do have some men shoveness but the majority of men want to live a peaceful and content life just like you.  They usually are willing to BE NICE, if you are nice.  However, when we get to throwing our demands around and telling them what to do, they become less kind, cooperative and we actually are responsible for turning them into the monsters that we say they are but we created them.  If your man is going on the defense every time you say something, there is a problem.  The issue is, did you create it or is it coming from him.  Guess what?  If he is doing wrong, he can easily turn it around and blame you for the reason why he doesn’t come home at night or stays out late with the boys but is it him or is it you?   You will never know if you have been a monster wife.   The worse thing women can do is complain about every little thing or repeat themselves over and over.  THE MEN HEAR YOU, but eventually they will tune you out and you will get no where ever again.  Lets start this marriage off right.  What makes your husband happy?  Write them down and pray over them.  Then ask God to tell you how to implement them into your marriage.  Some men love their wives being with them every second of the day and others might feel smothered.  You cannot build your marriage on the JONES’, yours is as unique as theirs.  God wants to make your Marriage Marvelous and that can only happen by following His guidelines.  Let’s start with a few questions.

  • Do you like your husband or do you love him?
  • Do you feel he Loves You?
  • Is he kind to you or mean? (Abusive, A Cheater, Evasive, Disrespectful, etc)
  • Does he enjoy spending time with you or finding other things to do with his time?
  • Do you communicate or is there more silence in the room then talking?
  • Do you go to church together or is he a non church goer?
  • Is God discussed in the house ever?
  • Are their opportunities to pray together?
  • Are your children effected by the home’s environment (good or bad)?

There are many  variables that effect a home and none are the same.  I can only say that the change must begin with YOU!  If you want to even attempt to see if you can create a better marriage relationship with your spouse you must make the first steps to improvement, which prompts me to more questions.

  • Do you keep a clean home?  Is it surface clean or is it clean and orderly.
  • Do you keep yourself up?  Are you hygienically clean, teeth brushed, use mouthwash, etc., and smell sweet to your husband.
  • Do you keep your appearance desirable? Hair, clothes, skin, etc.
  • Do you greet him and make him feel welcomed home?
  • Do you resent picking up behind him?
  • Do you talk down to him and start small arguments?
  • Do you criticize him?
  • Do you try to find reasons to praise him? Thank him?
  • Do you complain about money issues?
  • Do you address money matters at the wrong time or find the most appropriate times?

Regardless of what your answers are, I want to remind you that you are in competition with a world of women that would love your man.  You think just because you both said, I DO allows you to step down your game, it doesn’t.  You need to check yourself and your attitude.  Make sure you are doing no less for your husband then you did when you first met him.  WHY?  Because, there is always another woman  that wants your property and will wait for you to make one false move so she can snatch him right from under you.  Don’t be surprise if it’s even someone you know or very close to you.   LADIES remember, you got him by being nice so why are you so irritated with him now?  Think you own him?  SORRY, not that easy!   Don’t be naive!  If you are one of those inconsiderate wives, you just might lose.  We have to act like we are always trying to catch for the first time, all the time!   Don’t continue to be stubborn, ugly and disrespectful.  I have seen marriages last 50 years but then another Woman comes along that doesn’t regard marriages at all and he’s a GONNER!  🙁   If it’s any consolation, that relationship usually doesn’t last either but it doesn’t get your husband back.   ALL I CAN SAY LADIES, STEP UP YOUR GAME & MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE MARVELOUS!   BE NICE!

OOPS!  I just heard someone say, my husband is a total JERK!  There is nothing that I can ever do to make him happy!  Well, if you have one of them, you need to go to the topic “Rotten Relationship” and start reading.    Unfortunately, these type of men can’t love you because they can’t even love themselves.  Don’t despair,  it’s probably not your fault.  There is only one solution, I can offer!  Prayer changes people and circumstance.  Be patient and wait on the Lord,  Christ is the ANSWER!

Want to know more about Jesus?  Go to “HOW TO BE SAVED”                                                Click:  How To Be Saved

Learn how to love your singleness

Learn how to love your singleness

BEING A SINGLE WOMEN  

Now, this is a big topic, Learning How To Love Your Singleness! There are so many single ladies that ask this same question over and over, “how can I make myself happy without a man?”   It’s Easy! You must love the Lord Jesus and allow Him to be your companion.  The Lord allows us to go through certain stages in our lives for growth and we impatiently want to hurry the process.  The biggest complaint is being alone and desiring a company keeper but unfortunately, that eventually leads to sexual impurity, which is unacceptable to the Lord.

Ladies, I know it is very difficult to go through your lives looking at married couples that appear to be happy, when in many cases what you see is not real.  You are now mad at God because someone else has a husband and you don’t.  You can sometimes even become envious of other’s happiness, which again is not of God.  The devil is evil and will do anything to misguide you but you must trust in the Lord and wait for him to supply your every need.  In the meanwhile, you must Make Your Singleness Sufficient.  If you are not in church, start there and get busy.

Many single women are living their lives thinking of ways to attract a husband?  Unfortunately, in that pursuit they are attracting all sorts of spirits (con artist, cheater, free loader, abuser, etc).  Whether we want to believe it or not, the only one that can make that provision is God and it’s made according to our faithfulness.  God said, “He would withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly before him”.  You don’t want some of the (Men Spirits) that I just named.   If you can just be patient and wait on the Lord, he will bless you for your faithfulness and when God blesses, He blesses real GOOD!

My advise, please don’t make your move to soon!  Be patient and let God do it for YOU!

Want to know more about Jesus?  Go to “HOW TO BE SAVED”                                                Click:  How To Be Saved