Being separated from your spouse

Being separated from your spouse

WOMEN DEALING WITH SEPARATION

We all know it is hard to deal with a difficult spouse and sometimes circumstances force you to separate yourself for many reasons.  It could be safety because of abusiveness (mentally and physically).  Cheating in the relationship has occurred and you just need time away to get your head together.  It could even be financial issues, where some women have enabled their spouses by being the bread winner and basically helping him to do nothing but depend on you.  Whatever you situation, God can get you through it.

This is a time of prayer and fasting.  You need at this time to have a clear head and the only one that can help you accomplish that is JESUS!  Most women grab their contact list and start scrolling down their list of friends in an effort to find someone to drop their burden.  The truth is, no one really wants to hear your problems because they probably have enough of their own.  Yet you still call and call until you reach someone that will listen to you ramble on and on about how Jimmy did you wrong.  Well, you just opened the door to your personal media.  Yes the media of your circle of friends.  You may not believe this but they all know what Jimmy has done to you and everyone of them are discussing it with each other.  WHY? Because you have told it!  Stop in your tracks right now and put down that phone.  Take your burden to the Lord Jesus and let Him work it out.  He will not spread it around town so when you do take old Jimmy back and you will, no one will be able to ridicule you about your decision.   If you are in the midst of separation.  Stay separated from the voices of others and allow God to be the only voice you hear. (He won’t tell it! OOPS IT SLIPPED! Lol)

Well, putting the humor aside this subject is serious and you still have to deal with a rotten husband that is breaking your heart.  You love this man and you just don’t know why you can’t shake this feeling.  WHAT DO YOU DO?   I can only tell you that SILENCE IS GOLDEN.  If you really love him, please for heaven sake don’t get your family involved!  Don’t leave and go back and forth like a revolving door, that never ever works.  Cut him off and let him deal with him, while you are dealing with you.  If you are talking with him every night and listening to him try and get you back, you have lost already.  Stop!  Cut yourself off and stay off that phone with him and others.  If he is serious about trying to do right, he will find you where ever you are.  Even at church.  Don’t start going out to dinner with him and listening to his lies all over again.  CUT HIM OFF until God says he has changed.  If you were bold enough to separate from him in the first place, then do what it takes to make the situation or you will walk back into a worst one.   If he truly loves you, he will win you back even if it is through God, your ministers or even showing up at church.  Does that mean you should come back home or let him back home just because he made a few efforts of coming to church?  Absolutely NOT!  I don’t think so!  God doesn’t work on a heart of a calculating mind over night, it takes time.  His original plan is to DECEIVE YOU and turn you away from anyone that is supporting your separation, even your church.  All I can say is be wise and let the Lord Jesus order your steps.  Believe it or not, if that man truly loves you, he will change.  However, if he is just there for the ride, he will move on to another sucker that is willing to let him set up housekeeping and will start all over with someone else.  Unfortunately, those are the stakes that you have to deal with.  THE CHANGE MUST BEGIN WITH YOU!

You can stay with the man and continue to pray for yourself and him because it is going to take all of that and some more to keep your sanity in the midst of your Hurricane but you can do with the help of God.  You must stay focused by praying and reading your Bible daily and please find a good church home and stay faithful.  However, if he chooses to leave or you leave, be firm and don’t let him go and come as he please (he is either in or out, his choice) or you will be a big joke.  You only have one chance to make a first impression, even with spouse.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.   If you want it to work, do what it takes to make it work even if it is tough love.   MOST IMPORTANT DURING THE PROCESS, STAY WITH JESUS, HE WILL WORK IT OUT IN HIS TIME SO BE PATIENT!  Don’t make your move to fast, many women have been fooled because of their overwhelming situations and simply ended their marriages with a little Divorce paper only to find out that their troubles had just begun and now feeling crazier then before.  Don’t let your sudden emotional state dictate your future.  Be patient and wait on the Lord.   He will help you through this bumpy time and direct your path.  If it is really over, let it be God that says it’s over and not you or it will not turn out good for you.   Pray, God is working on your in someone.  Allow him to finish His work.  He is the potter and you are the clay.  Allow him to make and mold you into the beautiful pottery that you are and can be!

Want to know more about Jesus?  Go to “HOW TO BE SAVED”                                                Click:  How To Be Saved

Hi, It’s  (YFD) Your Friend Debbie Again!  I viewed some of the post and realize that we as women have a lot of work to be done on GUESS WHO?  YOU!!!!! I know it is hard but if we will just get the focus of the other guy and figure out what’s wrong we would do ourselves a lot better.  Why to I say that?  As one of the others responders said.  You can change you but you can’t do one thing with someone else.  Let God be the FINISHER, Not You!  If you want to live with a level of  peace of mind, let Christ handle it and get your hands off of the matter.  You are only in the way of his surgery on the situation.  When a person finally realizes that you are not watching them like a hawk or obsessed with their every move, where a bouts, actions or life styles, the tables turn and you start to grow.   Christ is the only answer to all of our craziness (Married or Single).  Please tell others to visit my site.  All comments, topic and articles are inspired by GOD!  Tell others that want help to visit my site and may God bless you real good!  Jesus Loves You and so do I! YFD

 

6 Comments
  1. Granted that i am not married i feel as if me being here at work is as good as a separation it’s going to get which i do enjoy while he is at work but other than that he lives with me and sometimes i do want to put him out the house just to have some type of space but that is before we started working and now that our plans are in motion we are okay! i do not know if that makes since to anyone who is reading what im saying but the thing that matters is that we understand what we have to do to make it work no matter what, good or bad times we may be having.

  2. sometimes being seprated from your spouse is okay because some relationships can get heated up and the 2 may need a bit of sspace or maybe your able to work it out by still being around one another just becaue you cant be separated , another way of separation is death or being incarserated , or just being at work some people are pretty good with coping through stuff

  3. I’m not married but I was in a relationship for over 3Yrs. I had this exact problem where I was being taken for granted. I was dealing with a lot! The lying, cheating and mental abuse. I use to always call up my friends and family but one day I got got fed up. I stopped calling people close to me because they would say, you will never leave but I did. Eventually I was missed and he wanted me back Sadly, the same stuff started as in the past. A definite red flag. This time I paid attention to the red flags that I had chosen to ignore in the past. The lie, that he was going to marry me, which he never did so I took myself out of the situation. I wished him the best and I went on with my life. I have a much happier and fulfilling life now that he’s gone. Sometimes being apart is definitely the key.

  4. I needed this message myself…Thanks Debbie

  5. being Separated from your spouse no matter what the situation is, reading this makes me feel like if you want to keep your spouse and there’s nothing you can do to get your spouse back all you have to do is continue to pray and ask the lord to help and pray for your marriage or relationship,

  6. Debbie,

    Silence is the key! That is the most important thing to consider when you know that you want to fight for you marriage. Your words are wise and I have took in alot to consider as far as my relationship. Moving to fast to face an option you really didn’t want is what will hurt the most and that is what I am facing now it’s a fight we both have to deal with but we are doing it and putting God in our life have made things better and it’s all falling into place. No one in my family knows this and that’s how we wanted this because we love each other. We both read and we both have gotten something from it we love the you word everything keep up the good work!!!

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